At their base level, when we speak of Masonic Decorum, Etiquette and Protocol we’re talking about certain conventions we use—conventions of politeness that help us get along with one another. These conventions take several different forms and serve several different functions but, for example, they enable us to maintain order in Lodge meetings, they guide us as to proper modes of dress and behavior, and they help us navigate the sometimes complex ways to pay respect to constituted authority.

One of the primary teachings of Freemasonry is the practice of gentlemanly behavior. This speaks to diverse aspects of everyday life such as exhibiting good manners, viewing others with kindness and treating them with respect and compassion, dressing and grooming well, understanding what is expected and bearing oneself accordingly, and striving to become a better man through intellectual, spiritual and moral improvement.

As Masons we should avoid irregularity and intemperance, do unto our neighbor as we wish he should do unto us, resent unclean speech as a challenge against our claim to good breeding, and bid men come up to us but refuse to descend a single step to them. These teachings, among many others in our rituals, serve as models for thought and conduct in Lodge as well as the world abroad.

The principles of decorum, etiquette and protocol describe the practice of polite behavior in increasing levels of formality. They should not be used as a bludgeon against those who inadvertently may transgress against them, but instead serve as models that help us understand how to behave towards one another in the Masonic context. In practicing these modes of conduct we are able to preserve that most precious resource of the Craft: harmony; and to ensure that neither envy, discord, nor confusion interrupts or disturbs the peace and good fellowship which prevails among the Brethren.

Decorum refers to the principles of polite behavior in our society, such as sitting up straight at the dinner table, and particularly among and between Masons, who should aspire to the highest standard. I say “in our society” because these are things that are “just understood” by everyone in a certain culture, but those things may differ from culture to culture. For example, there are cultures in which it is considered polite to burp at the dinner table—something that is certainly not considered polite in our culture. And to make another example, there are words that mean the same thing here as they do in the UK, but over there they’re considered “just a little cheeky” whereas here they are viewed as highly offensive. Going a bit further in that direction, as Freemasons we are our own society within the larger society, and we have our own commonly understood principles of polite behavior. To make an obvious example, it’s considered perfectly okay to debate about religion in broader society, but not within the society of Freemasons.

Moving on, Etiquette refers to commonly understood standards that apply to specific social situations, such as which fork to use for the fish course at a formal dinner. A Masonic example would be standing at the Sign of Fidelity when addressing an officer of higher rank. Etiquette typically applies in more formalized settings that call for more clearly defined expectation as to modes of behavior. For example, if you go to a friend’s home to watch the Jets game and snack on a pizza, decorum says that you should thank him on your way out the door. If your boss invites you to his home for a dinner party, however, you should observe the proper etiquette by sending him a thank-you note in the mail. Etiquette became really complicated and full of rules—rules that almost verged into the realm of protocol—during the Victorian age when people were leaving calling cards with the butler and that sort of thing. So we might think of etiquette as a bunch of silly “rules” that don’t apply to modern life. But it’s worth forming an understanding of what’s expected in various circumstances. Again, these principles are all about guiding us in acting politely and showing respect to one another. If you’re invited to a black tie wedding and you show up in a blazer, slacks and an open collar shirt, you’re sending a message of disrespect to the hosts and telling them that you don’t care about them. Likewise, if you have a side-discussion with another Brother during a Lodge meeting, you are sending a message of disrespect to the Master and the Brethren and telling them you don’t care about them.

Protocol refers to formal rules and precedence adopted to facilitate respectful interactions among high-ranking individuals, such as the seating of diplomats at a formal dinner. Masonic protocol is established by the Grand Lodge and governs interactions with and among Grand Lodge officers. One of the important things about protocol are the questions of (i) who gets to determine what it is and (ii) when it is in force. The first question is easy: the Grand Lodge and more specifically the Grand Master sets the protocol, and the Grand Marshal and Deputy Grand Marshal promulgate that protocol throughout the jurisdiction. Sometimes it may take a vote of Grand Lodge to change an aspect of protocol. This needn’t concern us on the Lodge level, however. We just do as we’re told. The second question is an interesting one. The person who determines whether and to what extent protocol is in force is the highest ranking present of the Grand Master, the Deputy Grand Master, the District Deputy Grand Master and the Worshipful Master. This can include things such as who makes a fancy entrance and gets Grand Honors in the East, or whether it’s anyone at all. And other things too, of course. The main rule there is that you shouldn’t accord the honors and courtesies of protocol to one Grand Lodge officer and not to another Grand Lodge officer present who is higher up in the Order of Precedence—which is more or less an official listing of all the past and present officers in our Grand Lodge put into rank order for protocol purposes with the Grand Master at the top and Past Masters of Lodges at the bottom.

Editor’s note: The Custodians of the Work are currently working on a new booklet meant to provide guidance in these areas within the Lodge context.