Overcoming Embarrassment in Lodge Ritual

Embarrassment: A feeling of self-consciousness, shame, awkwardness, or uneasiness.

Often a Worshipful Master ponders on how to engage the Brothers and increase attendance during Lodge meetings. The Master looks for what helps the Brothers engage and participate in Opening and Closing the Lodge, learn, and ask questions about subjects we do not know much about. Despite his efforts, however, many fail to come to the next meeting by giving one reason or another. Then he wonders again: what it is that deters them?

Well, there is this thing called embarrassment. Embarrassment, in its own many forms in everyday life, prevents us from getting engaged in the Lodge’s ritual, especially when we are not fully prepared. We feel others will judge us in a negative light. I can say that, as a Mason, I try not to judge others, or even myself. But in reality, I do- often very subtly. In fact, I am my own worst critic when it comes to my lack of knowledge of Ritual.

Now, I will not be talking about the Brother who is asked to take a part well in advance, as in the case of the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd Degree, or even when asked to take a Station well in advance. They should be learning the part and arrive knowing the part.

Rather, I will concentrate on the situation when a Brother fails to attend a meeting, and at the very last minute, someone else is asked to do it, or "voluntold" to do it. At the end, I will offer a long term solution as well.

Having said this, the question is how do we overcome this feeling of embarrassment so we can feel comfortable in coming and participating in the ritual at our next meeting?

First, our gut reaction is that we do not volunteer to take a position we may not know, especially when we are asked to do so at the last minute. We become adamant that we do not feel good about taking on this challenge, and if pressed, we get angry, embarrassed, and not show up at the next meeting.

Photo: Brothers from Norseman Lodge No 878, Manhattan, New York, at their 2026 Installation of Officers.

Preferably, we learn Rtual and move on. But let us be clear and honest here — if we chose this, we would all be proficient in Ritual and we could be called upon anytime without feeling embarrassed.

Sadly, I have observed that not going to the Lodge for the next meeting is frequently more likely to happen. If we do not go, we do not have to experience the embarrassment. And we have legitimate reasons as to why we "need" to miss a meeting or two. I won’t go into the excuses I have heard, or the ones I have given, because I don’t want to give anybody any more ideas.

So, here are some of my suggestions to help prevent this embarrassment from happening when we show up at a meeting and we are asked, at the very last minute, to take over for another Brother who has not shown up. Before I begin, let me point out that my suggestions, as follow, may not be liked by many. I understand that. There are pros and cons in implementing them. I understand that. All I am asking for is for you, the reader, to keep an open mind as to what I am about to suggest, and I thank you in advance for doing so.

First and foremost, it ensures that the Brother feels that he matters, and that the other Brothers understand this predicament, make changes accordingly to meet his needs, and will not judge him negatively for his lack of knowledge.

Second, it boosts his confidence and gives him a sense of personal achievement because he was able to help. Morale goes up.

Third, he is LEARNING the part as he reads it.

Now, reading from the Riutal Book offers its own challenges if the Brother does not know the part. In the Grand Lodge of New York, Our Standard Work and Lectures are written in cipher. This can be problematic; if they don’t know a part, and they have not looked at it in advance, chances are the cipher will be of little use. I have experienced this as well when the Worshipful Master asked me to read a part I had no clue about. Now, I feel even more embarrassed because now I am asked to read from a book I was taught to read.

Allow me segway for a moment: there are Brothers who want to help by correcting the other Brother during the Opening or Closing, or any other Degree work, without being asked to help. This "help" indirectly points out the other’s flaws in front of others (sometime I fall into this category, and I keep working on it). This leads to more frustration and embarrassment. Then there are those who want to help but have the incorrect information. This may prompt a third party to jump in and correct them, and in turn, correct the one who is asking for help. It leads to confusion, frustration, and more embarrassment for all parties involved.

To combat this issue, I say this: Unless you are asked to help by the Brother in question, or the Worshipful Master, DO NOT DO SO. The Brother can ask for help himself from anyone beforehand, and can signal he wants the help with a nod of the head, by looking up, by taking a long pause, waive of his hand, or by any other means as agreed upon before he takes the role.

If you, as the one who has not been chosen to help, still want to help, consider taking him aside after the meeting, but not in front of others.

Option B: Have the part written in plain English.

Now, before anyone starts saying what our obligation state that we cannot have any part of the ritual written anywhere where a non-Mason can read it. Remember, we have the Riutal Book in cipher that we take home, outside of the Lodge. And some parts are indeed written in plain English. I fail to see why this is ok while having the ritual parts written in plain English to help a Brother participate is not.

Photo: Installation of Officers at King Solomon-Beethoven Lodge 232, Manhattan, New York.

If the parts are written in plain English, they should be kept with the Worshipful Master, who will distribute them only during the meeting as necessary. Additionally, as long as the written part stays within the Lodge Room, and not taken outside, it will be ok unless the Worshipful Master says otherwise (in which case I believe it is erroneous to do so, but…). And I am not talking about having the entire Ritual Book rewritten in plain English — just the most common parts (as in each station and place for opening and closing the Lodge) so that the Worshipful Master can virtually ask anyone not fluent in the part to take over at the last minute, and not necessarily only those who know the part by heart. Let me emphasize, that the Worshipful Master runs the Lodge and it is up to him how to proceed in this matter having taken into consideration the current situation at hand in his Lodge.

Having said this, here is my reasoning behind having the part written in plain English. When the one, who is voluntold to do a part, knows he can read it in English, he is going to feel more confident about volunteering to do the part; he does not feel embarrassed; he gets thanked for taking up the role at the last minute; and his morale and confidence is boosted. And most importantly, he may be enticed to learn the part by heart as he reads it. End result, he will be encouraged to attend the next meeting, and the next, and so on. He knows we have his back.

I must offer a caveat; we must avoid creating an expectation that the Brother will be allowed, or to expect he can read the part in every meeting. Our objective is to learn the part by heart, and understand what the part is about. We must be very careful in stressing to all the Brothers that this is a temporary learning aid in an emergency situation, and will not happen every time we have a meeting.

At every other Lodge meeting we can have a Learning Hour where we dedicate this time to learning Ritual the right way, with the right words. This means using the Riutal Book to read each part, to see if we are doing it correctly, even if we think we already know it. This, in its own right, does three things: One, we actually learn how to read the cipher, and learn the ritual. Second, this allows us to auto correct ourselves when we think we know the part, but actually don’t. Third, and most importantly, it creates an environment where learning is expected rather than embarrassing because:

• Nobody should be afraid of making a mistake when learning.
• Nobody should be afraid of asking questions.
• Nobody should be afraid of saying "I do not know."

Remember, we are here to help one another to become a better man — not to make one feel embarrassed.

In conclusion, I propose three things:

1. If a Brother does not know the part and is called to do the part anyway, let him read it from the Riutal Book.
2. If appropriate and permitted within the Lodge, have commonly used parts available in plain English.
3. Every other meeting, open and close the Lodge with the Riutal Book opened and spend time learning the ritual together.

If we implement these options, I believe we can reduce the fear of embarrassment, encourage Brothers to participate, and create an environment where learning is something we do together. Because, at the end of the day, we should never allow embarrassment to become the reason we stop coming to the Lodge.