“How to Win
Friends and
Influence
People”

The Masonic journey, though an inward reflection, manifests itself through the relationships within and outside the Lodge. It is this curious dynamic of the Craft through which the relationship between our inner life and our relationships manifest together towards a larger discussion on virtue and meaning. These relationships confront one with the question of how their influence benefits or impedes the ability of others to circumscribe their own desires and keep themselves within due bounds. It is in this question that drew me to the work of Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. The three major areas he explores define how the Craft teaches interpersonal relationship and leadership skills.

Carnegie’s ideas can be broken down into three major parts: building strong relationships, winning people over and influencing others, and leading and inspiring others. The Labor of the Craft can be perceived as the daily habits of forming healthy relationships that ensure harmony within and without a person’s daily existence in society and the world at large. For Carnegie, his ideas of forming relationships emphasize knowing the other and presenting oneself as approachable to relationships through vulnerability. It is focusing less on one’s own desires and seeing through others how knowing them leads back to their own development and fulfillment of desires. One may argue that only through knowing others can a Mason truly know how to keep themselves within due bounds. It is loosening of the ego by which a Mason can begin to practice their Craft.

How does one maintain these relationships? For Carnegie, the due bounds articulated within the Craft can be expressed through avoiding criticisms and arguments that disrupt the harmony within the Fraternity. Instead, he argues that honesty and sincerity towards helping others express the fullest and best version of themselves. Admission of wrongs and imperfections that we hold within ourselves and observe in others is critical towards refining our ego and understanding how our character fits into the larger narrative of the world.

Within this context, it is curious how the Craft can easily succumb to illusions of power and privilege as a Brother Mason progresses through the Lodge leadership Chairs. Yet, the underlying truth is that these Officers are meant to be of service to the Lodge and not of personal gain. Within Carnegie’s book, he describes several principles which, upon further examination, provide methods for ensuring this focus is transmitted within and outside the Lodge. The principle of giving people a fine reputation to live up to reminds me that the Lodge officers, as a whole, should demonstrate the virtues and habits that inspire members within the Lodge to help and participate to aid in their own moral edification. Along similar lines, Carnegie encourages praise and encouragement rather than criticism to encourage people to bring their best efforts to the Lodge. Whether in events or through ritual, Lodge etiquette that seeks to encourage and promote people’s ability to handle the challenges and difficulties with performing elements of the ritual ensures both greater participation and enjoyment for the long term benefits that such activities bring to the Fraternity as a whole. Taken together, Carnegie’s classic is a reminder that the ultimate determiner of leadership and growth within the Fraternity is within the manner and methods by which one helps not only themselves, but the entire Craft benefit.