I was recently asked to give a talk on the subject of “The Power and Purpose of Ritual,” and I thought a good place to start that talk would be considering what ritual is in the first place.

Viewed in the broadest possible context, ritual can be understood as being a set of repeated and structured actions that alters the internal and/or external state of an individual or group. Many things we may not think of as ritual fall under this umbrella. Shaking hands can be viewed as a form of ritual, as can giving a toast. And it’s not even limited to human beings.

Elephants, for example, will stand vigil over deceased members of the herd and may revisit the death site for a period of years. Indeed, rituals pervade our everyday lives so thoroughly that we don’t even recognize most of them as such. That cup of coffee you have every morning before you leave for work? That’s a morning ritual. Organizing your desk every Friday afternoon before you leave work for the weekend? That’s a ritual too. These little rituals of habit help us structure our lives and, to a large extent, are unlikely to be consciously ritualized but rather simply become “things that we do” or “the way we do things.”

This may not seem like such a big deal, but when we understand the extent to which they are present in our lives, the power and purpose of these ritualized behaviors becomes clear.

That’s ritual writ small, of course, and as Masons we are more interested in ritual writ large—in particular with Masonic ritual, and more specifically with Masonic ritual ceremony. If a ritual in its smallest and most fundamental form is a prescribed or systematized set of behaviors, what you get when you put a bunch of these rituals together into a formalized public or semipublic event is a ceremony.

So there’s ritual and ceremony, but we also refer to rites, as in “rites, light and benefits.” This term is a bit slippery as it can be used to describe the specific prescribed actions—a.k.a. rituals—that take place within a ceremony, such as the so-called rite of divestiture when candidates set aside all metallic objects or, more obviously, the Apron Presentation; or it can describe the body of ritual and ceremonial customs practiced by a denomination or group, such as the York and Scottish Rites.

Following this logic our Standard Work and Lectures in the Grand Lodge of New York can be described as a rite made up of various ceremonies, each of which is comprised of various rituals.

One of the primary teachings of Freemasonry is the practice of gentlemanly behavior. This speaks to diverse aspects of everyday life such as exhibiting good manners, viewing others with kindness and treating them with respect and compassion, dressing and grooming well, understanding what is expected and bearing oneself accordingly, and striving to become a better man through intellectual, spiritual and moral improvement.

As Masons we should avoid irregularity and intemperance, do unto our neighbor as we wish he should do unto us, resent unclean speech as a challenge against our claim to good breeding, and bid men come up to us but refuse to descend a single step to them. These teachings, among many others in our rituals, serve as models for thought and conduct in Lodge as well as the world abroad.

The principles of decorum, etiquette and protocol describe the practice of polite behavior in increasing levels of formality. They should not be used as a bludgeon against those who inadvertently may transgress against them, but instead serve as models that help us understand how to behave towards one another in the Masonic context. In practicing these modes of conduct we are able to preserve that most precious resource of the Craft: harmony; and to ensure that neither envy, discord, nor confusion interrupts or disturbs the peace and good fellowship which prevails among the Brethren.

Decorum refers to the principles of polite behavior in our society, such as sitting up straight at the dinner table, and particularly among and between Masons, who should aspire to the highest standard. I say “in our society” because these are things that are “just understood” by everyone in a certain culture, but those things may differ from culture to culture. For example, there are cultures in which it is considered polite to burp at the dinner table—something that is certainly not considered polite in our culture. And to make another example, there are words that mean the same thing here as they do in the UK, but over there they’re considered “just a little cheeky” whereas here they are viewed as highly offensive. Going a bit further in that direction, as Freemasons we are our own society within the larger society, and we have our own commonly understood principles of polite behavior. To make an obvious example, it’s considered perfectly okay to debate about religion in broader society, but not within the society of Freemasons.

Moving on, Etiquette refers to commonly understood standards that apply to specific social situations, such as which fork to use for the fish course at a formal dinner. A Masonic example would be standing at the Sign of Fidelity when addressing an officer of higher rank. Etiquette typically applies in more formalized settings that call for more clearly defined expectation as to modes of behavior. For example, if you go to a friend’s home to watch the Jets game and snack on a pizza, decorum says that you should thank him on your way out the door. If your boss invites you to his home for a dinner party, however, you should observe the proper etiquette by sending him a thank-you note in the mail. Etiquette became really complicated and full of rules—rules that almost verged into the realm of protocol—during the Victorian age when people were leaving calling cards with the butler and that sort of thing. So we might think of etiquette as a bunch of silly “rules” that don’t apply to modern life. But it’s worth forming an understanding of what’s expected in various circumstances. Again, these principles are all about guiding us in acting politely and showing respect to one another. If you’re invited to a black tie wedding and you show up in a blazer, slacks and an open collar shirt, you’re sending a message of disrespect to the hosts and telling them that you don’t care about them. Likewise, if you have a side-discussion with another Brother during a Lodge meeting, you are sending a message of disrespect to the Master and the Brethren and telling them you don’t care about them.

Protocol refers to formal rules and precedence adopted to facilitate respectful interactions among high-ranking individuals, such as the seating of diplomats at a formal dinner. Masonic protocol is established by the Grand Lodge and governs interactions with and among Grand Lodge officers. One of the important things about protocol are the questions of (i) who gets to determine what it is and (ii) when it is in force. The first question is easy: the Grand Lodge and more specifically the Grand Master sets the protocol, and the Grand Marshal and Deputy Grand Marshal promulgate that protocol throughout the jurisdiction. Sometimes it may take a vote of Grand Lodge to change an aspect of protocol. This needn’t concern us on the Lodge level, however. We just do as we’re told. The second question is an interesting one. The person who determines whether and to what extent protocol is in force is the highest ranking present of the Grand Master, the Deputy Grand Master, the District Deputy Grand Master and the Worshipful Master. This can include things such as who makes a fancy entrance and gets Grand Honors in the East, or whether it’s anyone at all. And other things too, of course. The main rule there is that you shouldn’t accord the honors and courtesies of protocol to one Grand Lodge officer and not to another Grand Lodge officer present who is higher up in the Order of Precedence—which is more or less an official listing of all the past and present officers in our Grand Lodge put into rank order for protocol purposes with the Grand Master at the top and Past Masters of Lodges at the bottom.

Editor’s note: The Custodians of the Work are currently working on a new booklet meant to provide guidance in these areas within the Lodge context.

“Do we have a duty to maintain Fraternal Ties with a Brother who no longer regularly attends Lodge Meetings or Masonic events?”

Freemasonry offers extraordinary opportunities to form and nourish the bonds of union and friendship. Yet sometimes a Brother who has not attended regularly for some period of time will feel as though the members have forgotten about him. His phone isn’t ringing like it once did, he’s no longer recruited to every impromptu gathering, and there may be any number of new Lodge members he doesn’t know particularly well. This can result in feelings of abandonment or even resentment. And yet, when he does find the time to attend a meeting or other event, he’s greeted as warmly as ever by the Brothers who know him, and they all say they wish to see him more frequently in Lodge.

The reason for this phenomenon is that the friendship was formed in the context of attending and participating in Lodge meetings and activities. These events create regular opportunities for the Brethren to come together with a common purpose that nourishes and sustains the relationships thus formed which, in turn, gives rise to occasions for the Brethren to come together outside of Lodge events. This is not dissimilar from friendships formed in a place of employment.

However, while this kind of institutionalized proximity can be helpful in forming and sustaining a friendship, it can make it difficult to maintain the same closeness when that external factor goes away. It’s not uncommon, for example, to fall out of touch with work friends after moving to a job at a different employer. It’s not that you’re not friends any more. It’s just that a kind of glue that held the relationship tightly together has gone away. Not every work friendship, regardless of how close, can survive that loss and remain the same.

But work is work. We want more out of the Fraternity. We expect our Masonic friendships to follow us all the way from Initiation to the grave. So what is to be done? And where does the responsibility lie? How can the relationship be restored to its former closeness? The answer is, with a reapplication of glue.

A Brother whose attendance and participation have waned should make a concerted effort to reengage with his Lodge. Perhaps circumstances have changed and he’s not able to be present as frequently as he once was. That’s okay. Once a month, or even every other month, can be enough to reenergize old friendships and form new ones. This is how community is created. Just as a lapsed work friendship can resume undiminished when a former colleague joins you at your present employer, you may be surprised at how quickly and easily a closeness with your Lodge and its Brethren can be reestablished simply by resuming participation.

The Lodge as well has its own responsibility with respect to the relationships formed within and among its Brethren. The members need to have a reason to attend Lodge meetings and activities other than loyalty, so intrinsic quality must be high. Moreover, both the Lodge as an institution and the members as individual Masons should work to stay in communication with those whose activities or circumstances have reduced their regular presence, and to encourage their return.

Both parties should recognize that when one Brother contacts another to solicit his participation in the life and works of their Lodge, he is saying, “I love you. I miss you. I want our closeness back.” With constancy and fidelity in our friendships, let us together discover the beneficial and happy effects of our ancient and honorable institution.